Dichotomy of control, Parenting basics

Are you a good parent?

  The world is overflowing with advice on how to be a good parent. Anywhere you look, you can find books and websites on parenting skills, parenting goals, parenting strategies, and all kinds of tips and tricks and secrets. (I even have a few suggestions floating around Apparent Stoic.) It’s enough to induce performance anxiety in any well-meaning mom or…

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A Stoic upbringing, Dichotomy of control, Love

Happy families: A Stoic guide to family relationships

  See an expanded version of this post on the Stoicism Today blog at Modern Stoicism. “All happy families are alike,” wrote Tolstoy in Anna Karenina, and “each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” When I first read this line as a teenager, I couldn’t understand what Tolstoy meant. How could there be many kinds of unhappiness, but…

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Dichotomy of control

The Trichotomy of Control

In my previous post I shared my opinion that parents do not control their children, and that in fact we only have, at most, 50% influence over our children’s actions at any given moment. (Your child’s behavior is also determined by biological needs, chance, external situations, and other factors beyond your control.) This conclusion is based on the dichotomy of…

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A Stoic upbringing, Dichotomy of control

Cardinal Rules for Stoic Parenting

So, let’s start with the big questions. With the revival of Stoicism in a contemporary form that is supported by books, teachers, and a growing lay community, many people are finding that modern Stoicism offers an appealing framework for how to live a fulfilling, meaningful life. I certainly find that the principles and practice of Stoicism work for me as…

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