A Stoic upbringing, Dichotomy of control, Love

Happy families: A Stoic guide to family relationships

See an expanded version of this post on the Stoicism Today blog of Modern Stoicism.   “All happy families are alike,” wrote Tolstoy in Anna Karenina, and “each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” When I first read this line as a teenager, I couldn’t understand what Tolstoy meant. How could there be many kinds of unhappiness, but…

Continue Reading

Dichotomy of control, Parenting basics

Cross-cultural Stoic parenting

My family lives in suburban America, but my husband is actually Turkish. He moved to the U.S. when he was 25. And his family still lives in Turkey, so we do have some ethnic intrigue to add interest to our lives. My children have only met their paternal grandparents once. When Clementine had just turned three and James was 18…

Continue Reading

Dichotomy of control

The Trichotomy of Control

In my previous post I shared my opinion that parents do not control their children, and that in fact we only have, at most, 50% influence over our children’s actions at any given moment. (Your child’s behavior is also determined by biological needs, chance, external situations, and other factors beyond your control.) This conclusion is based on the dichotomy of…

Continue Reading

A Stoic upbringing, Dichotomy of control

Cardinal Rules for Stoic Parenting

So, let’s start with the big questions. With the revival of Stoicism in a contemporary form that is supported by books, teachers, and a growing lay community, many people are finding that modern Stoicism offers an appealing framework for how to live a fulfilling, meaningful life. I certainly find that the principles and practice of Stoicism work for me as…

Continue Reading