Love, Parenting basics

The flexible Stoic: Solving parenting challenges with rationality

One of my favorite things about Stoicism is that it provides both clear guidelines for living and the freedom to apply those guidelines as each person sees fit. The ancient Stoics developed a very strong rationale for seeking virtue, and a very clear understanding of what virtue is and what it might look like in certain circumstances. But ultimately, it’s…

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A Stoic upbringing, Parenting basics

Wipe Your Nose: Common-sense Stoic Advice for Parents and Children

  Whining. Yelling. Not sharing. Grumpiness, laziness, stubbornness. Does this sound familiar? Yes, these are just a few things that we parents are guilty of. Oh, did you think I was talking about the kids? They do the same things, of course, but they’re just children. We adults should know better. Since I’ve become a Stoic parent, there have been…

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A Stoic upbringing, Parenting basics

Teaching virtue: Teachable moments and good judgment

Stoicism gives us many reasons to seek virtue: living in accordance with nature, fulfilling our rational purpose as human beings, benefiting the rest of humankind, finding eudaimonia. Once you embrace the Stoic way of life, it’s only natural to want these same gifts for your child. But children have a different psychological makeup than adults. They don’t reason and understand…

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A Stoic upbringing, Parenting basics

So be good for goodness’ sake

You better watch out You better not cry Better not pout I’m telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town   He’s making a list And checking it twice Gonna find out who’s naughty and nice Santa Claus is coming to town   He sees you when you’re sleeping He knows when you’re awake He knows if you’ve been…

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Dichotomy of control, Parenting basics

Are you a good parent?

  The world is overflowing with advice on how to be a good parent. Anywhere you look, you can find books and websites on parenting skills, parenting goals, parenting strategies, and all kinds of tips and tricks and secrets. (I even have a few suggestions floating around Apparent Stoic.) It’s enough to induce performance anxiety in any well-meaning mom or…

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Interview with the Sunday Stoic

Please check out my interview with Steve Karafit of The Sunday Stoic podcast! In this episode we discuss the cardinal rules for Stoic parenting, plus oikeiosis, dealing with parenting frustrations, and more. Episode 34: Stoic Parenting I hope you find our conversation useful. Please let me know if you have questions or comments about any of these topics!

Love

It’s a wonderful life

  Sometimes I find myself wishing that things could be better than they actually are. It might be a wish that my kids weren’t so whiny, or that my house could magically clean itself, or that it weren’t raining so I could send the kids outside to play. When Clementine and James start arguing, I start wishing that I had…

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A Stoic upbringing, Parenting basics

Shaping your child’s character, not personality

It seems that everyone and everything in our world is obsessed with personality. Your personality type (of which there are many), Donald Trump’s personality, crafting a personality that will help you succeed in business or at cocktail parties. People are deemed desirable or undesirable on the basis of their personality: he’s weird, she talks too much, she’s desperate, he’s awkward.…

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Miscellaneous, Parenting basics

A vacation in your mind

Before I had kids, I loved to travel. Actually, I still love to travel. But as you can imagine, “travel” with three small children is a totally different experience than backpacking around Europe as a young adult. Since Clementine was born five years ago, we have been out of the country exactly one time. And with Freddy being just a…

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A Stoic upbringing, Dichotomy of control, Love

Happy families: A Stoic guide to family relationships

  See an expanded version of this post on the Stoicism Today blog at Modern Stoicism. “All happy families are alike,” wrote Tolstoy in Anna Karenina, and “each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” When I first read this line as a teenager, I couldn’t understand what Tolstoy meant. How could there be many kinds of unhappiness, but…

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